1,2,3, Magic!
We are back to trying 1,2,3 Magic in our house. For those of you not familiar with this strategy, it is based on a book by Thomas Phelan by the same name- definitely worth checking out... We have tried this on and off with Caroline since she was 18 months old. The basic premise is that you give a child a few warnings, before they are put in time out.
We've failed at this technique often because Caroline in one of those kids who doesn't stay in time out- she never did. The concept was lost on her because she just stood up and left the spot, the chair, her room. Interestingly, we are having much better luck this time- we have not yet gotten to time out. The counting seems to be working. If she is doing something 'wrong', we tell her to stop, if she doesn't, we say "That's a one" and she seems to be stopping. It is also working well to get her to do things... "Caroline, pick up your shoes." Ignoring... "Caroline, that's a one." And she's picking them up...
Perhaps, a new understanding has dawned on her after all and that is why this method is finally working... the other night, over dinner she says, "You know that 1,2,3 Magic thing- well why isn't it called 1,2,3 Time Out! Maybe for all these years, she been waiting for the magic...
posted by Stacey @ 6:22 PM
2 Comments
2 Comments:
I'm going to check it out - thanks! I've been doing a lot of "that's your last warning" and I think it's not enough warning. Plus anything with "magic" gets a lot of success in our house.
Hi there from your blog workshop colleague. I've been editing a positive discipline workbook recently that covers this topic. I haven't read the actual book, but this workbook emphasizes pre-conferences to make this work. For regular time-out, she claims almost no one uses it correctly; it's supposed to be just for a very specific behavior and only if there's been a pre-conference ahead of time to explain what the consequences will be. I've never seen anyone look like they use it this way, so now I'm sharing with everyone. But the workbook is all about trying these other strategies first - empathy, I-statements, etc. I hope that once I've edited the book and the woman self publishes through Lulu, I can send you the link! :-)
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