The Insult Machine

I knew I had to brace myself for life with two girls. I knew that the teenage years would be rough. I knew I had to have a thick skin. What I didn't know was that I had to grow my skin quite so quickly.

It turns out that along with all the other things children are doing earlier these days, they are also finding their mothers embarrassing much sooner than I remember doing the same. A few days ago, I bought a pair of sneakers. Not work out sneakers but casual sneakers to wear with jeans and tee shirts. I haven't worn these types of shoes before and the newness of them really brought out the comments. Caroline and Katherine told me how weird they looked so many times that I finally took them off. Over the past few weeks, I've been told that I am the worst rememberer on the planet, strange and embarrassing only to name a few of the pleasant descriptors that have come my way.

This morning, before Caroline had said much of anything, sleep still in her eyes, she said, "I wonder what will come out of the insult machine today!"

Now really, if you know that you are operating the insult machine, how about we turn that thing off!