Friday, January 21, 2011

Jealousy


We have had a week filled with uncertainty. Caroline began having joint paint almost two weeks ago. At first we believed it to be the result of multiple falls during her first adventure with ice skating. As time went on and the pain moved throughout her body we became less sure. Over the past two weeks we have seen our pediatrician, our chiropractor, an orthopedist, a rheumatologist and a cardiologist (we thought for a blip that it might be rheumatic fever but this now looks unlikely). We are now awaiting more blood work that might give us some answers to this puzzle we are living. In the meantime, we began treating Caroline with Aleve and it is working beautifully. We are finally hearing her laughter and fast moving feet throughout the house. Katherine is beside herself that Sissy can finally play with her again.

But... Katherine also now feels like it's ok to express her jealousy. It's amazing to me that with children even negative attention equates attention. Katherine has been pretty grumpy and it's been clear that she's wanted some of the hugs and concerned looks that Caroline has been getting. But nothing stated her jealousy like the letter she dictated to Caroline last night. It read:

Dear Parents:
I think you hate me because of Caroline's leg. Is that true? I am planning to live in the basement because everyone hates me. Expect Caroline. Caroline is going to be my new mommy. I will be upstairs to sleep, eat meals and I will go to school. Do you really hate me? Please respond.
Sincerely,

Katherine xoxo

p.s. Be honest.

As I write this, my eyes are wet again. How can such a tiny body feel such strong emotions? I am sad but also proud. After giving Katherine hug and after hug and telling her how incredibly much we loved her, she ran off, playing and laughing. How proud I am to have a little girl who feels safe enough to let the world know her feelings. How proud I am to have a little girl who stands up for herself in this family of strong personalities. How proud I am.

1 Comments:

At January 24, 2011 at 9:57 AM , Blogger Lindsey said...

Oh, Stacey ... this makes my eyes well up too. And I really hope you get some answers soon- please keep me posted. xoxo

 

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