Wednesday, May 28, 2008


Another week with a promise to blog everyday- another week with no post until Wednesday...

Recently at my book club, I acquired a napkin that I placed directly on my fridge where I would see it often. The napkin shows a woman saying, "Stop me before I volunteer again!" This has become my mantra. It must become my mantra. Because I have said yes too many times. I have joined too many boards, volunteered for too many committees... I have lost time to do the things I love. I can't find time to read or write. I can't find time to breathe. I worry that the girls are being ignored...

I have always been great at keeping a schedule. I never miss meetings. I never double book. Until this week... I have a babysitter tomorrow and I realized this morning that I had plans to be at two places at 9:30am tomorrow morning. I confessed my error to both of the parties involved and all has worked out... Here's the funny part- one of the women that was part of the double booking just asked me to take on a great responsibility for our organization... I guess she wasn't offended by my mistake.

And guess what... I said no, no, no. Perhaps this is the beginning of something... Let's hope so!

Friday, May 23, 2008

Clubbing, Dancing, House Parties, Oh My!

I have a new post up at New Jersey Moms Blog. Check it out here and then let me know that I am not alone here under my rock!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Eat Your Vegetables!

Yesterday I began a nurtional program. Recently, I have been paying attention and I'm just not eating the way I know I should. I think I always knew on some level that what I was putting in my mouth could effect my fatigue level and mood. A few weeks ago though I heard a women speak more in detail about this fact and it really hit home. I decided it was time to do something.

Rob and I went to college with a women who left a corporate job a few years ago to follow her passion- she is now a certified personal trainer and health counselor. Rob had reconnected with Jennifer in the fall and I had been thinking about calling her since then. I had an initial consultation with her on Monday and decided to complete her training.

In Jen's own words: "The goal is to help clients eat less of, not eliminate, their consumption of chemicalized, processed foods, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, dairy, and meat and replace with whole foods: grains, greens, beans, veggies, fruits, nuts and high quality meats, animal protein, and organic dairy. In addition, I try and teach clients the connection with their food choices and what is going on in other aspects of their life. One of my favorite sayings, “Your relationship with food is similar to your relationship with life.”

I am both excited and overwhelmed by the prospect of beginning this adventure. I became even more overwhelmed tonight at dinner...

Katherine has never been a lover of veggies, but in the spirit of embracing greens, I put green beans on her plate tonight. I wish I had taken a picture because no words can paint the terror on her face. Rob said she looked like a gigantic monster had jumped off of her plate. She kept pointing at the green beans as real tears spilled from her eyes.

Wish us luck- I think we are going to need it!

Friday, May 16, 2008

New Jersey Moms Blog

I have new post up at New Jersey Moms Blog. Check it out here.

Writing this post made me realize how much I have to say on the topic of overscheduling ourselves and our children... More to come...

Monday, May 12, 2008

1,2,3, Magic!

We are back to trying 1,2,3 Magic in our house. For those of you not familiar with this strategy, it is based on a book by Thomas Phelan by the same name- definitely worth checking out... We have tried this on and off with Caroline since she was 18 months old. The basic premise is that you give a child a few warnings, before they are put in time out.

We've failed at this technique often because Caroline in one of those kids who doesn't stay in time out- she never did. The concept was lost on her because she just stood up and left the spot, the chair, her room. Interestingly, we are having much better luck this time- we have not yet gotten to time out. The counting seems to be working. If she is doing something 'wrong', we tell her to stop, if she doesn't, we say "That's a one" and she seems to be stopping. It is also working well to get her to do things... "Caroline, pick up your shoes." Ignoring... "Caroline, that's a one." And she's picking them up...

Perhaps, a new understanding has dawned on her after all and that is why this method is finally working... the other night, over dinner she says, "You know that 1,2,3 Magic thing- well why isn't it called 1,2,3 Time Out! Maybe for all these years, she been waiting for the magic...

Friday, May 9, 2008


I know I am late to the party on this one- I read about this book all over the blogosphere awhile ago but just finished it myself. For anyone who has not yet read, Rockabye: From Wild to Child, by Rebecca Woolf, go get it- right now.

My wonderful writing teacher, Lisa Garrigues, has been telling me for months to underline while I was reading- I fought her tooth and nail on this one- I just couldn't do it. It ruined the story for me. Rockabye is such a wonderful story but also such a beautifully written one that I couldn't stop underlining- I was underlining faster than I was reading- I wanted to make sure these lines stayed with me forever.

Rebecca tells the story of her unplanned pregnancy at age 23 or 24. While not everyone's story, I believe that many of her feelings are indeed universal. While many of us planned our pregnancies, many of us were equally caught off gaurd when the baby arrived- I know I was! Rebecca's honesty is refreshing in this "everything is fine" world. This book should be required reading for all new moms- it is hard but it is ok.

The one part that I want to the remember the most is a story that Rebecca tells about playing in the rain with her son.

She writes, "I join him. Because it is a lot more fun to say yes. And I start to think maybe it's just as important to cross the lines as it is to draw them...There is no such thing as messing up if you go with your heart, and it's a whole lot easier to let go and enjoy the ride, singing along with makeshift microphones until the rain goes away or the traffic clears. You can't learn that from a book or the Internet or an overpriced class or seminar. That you learn from falling on your face in the sand, from spinning the kaleidoscope and splashing puddles in the rain. Wisdom is for sale everywhere, but the real answers are inside."
While my book is covered in underlining, it is only that last line above that was also starred- if only I could remember this all the time- parenting is a big game of trusting your gut- go with it, do what seems right, stop buying the books and just do it. Maybe it would be a lot more fun that way....

Thursday, May 8, 2008

So Confusing...

Why do I not know much about the cyclone in Myanmar?

At first, I felt really guilty- I kept reading headlines on the internet about the tens of thousands and now one hundred thousand people who have died there. I kept saying, 'I will watch the news tonight'- we tivo it for goodness sake, no excuse really... I never understood the moms who were so totally out of the news scene- really 10 minutes in front of the Today Show or the nightly news got you what you needed to know... have I really become one of those moms who doesn't even have 10 minutes?

I just sat down and watched last night's news on tivo- not really the best way to watch the news- you know, the day later, but better than nothing. Now I don't feel so personally and completely guilty. First of all, the story did not appear until 9 minutes into the show- our crazy political scene dominated those first precious minutes. So then I felt better about myself and blamed my lack of knowledge on the news. Then, I kept listening... aid is not being allowed in, new reporters are not being allowed in. The country is in a complete state of disorganization and as I kept listening, it is not the cyclone that has brought them there- this is a country with major issues. So now I don't feel so guilty myself and I don't have to be mad at Brian Williams- which is good because I really like the guy- apparently the government of Myanmar can carry a fair amount of blame as well.

I do though want to learn more- about this country- which seemed to have some pretty serious needs before this thing hit-as well as their terrible plight now. Ultimately, it is our job as citizens of this world to be informed so I am now off to read whatever I can find...

Wednesday, May 7, 2008


I promised to post every day this week, missed yesterday and now I am too tired to string a bunch of words together but I am counting this as a post so I don't fall too far behind on my goal- cheating, maybe, but I'm doing it!

Monday, May 5, 2008


Caroline is back to her famous 5:45 am wake up time. As hard as we try, this seems to be when her body is wired to wake. We are coming off our longest, later waking trend in her four and three quarter year long life- we played around with lots of different times after 6am and even toyed around with a few 7s. She is getting so much older that I actually had the audacity to think (or dare I say, the audacity to hope...) that this might be it- maybe we would finally be rising with the rest of the world- maybe I really wouldn't have three hours to fill before pre-school started.

Well, as Katherine now likes to say, "Silly Mommy!" We are back to 5:45am wake ups. And with this early rising, comes mean mommy. I become the cranky, short tempered, 'did I really just say that to my child', 'am I really yelling at 6:06am' mommy- the mommy I promised I would never be. The problem is simple- I am wired to wake at 7am. Just like years of trying everything hasn't made Caroline wake any later, years of practice have not make me any more pleasant before 7am.

Today, though, Caroline may have fixed the problem- not by sleeping later but by producing another one of her classic comments. As I was laying on the couch trying as hard as I could to muster some enthusiasm to complete an art project at 6:25am, she said something. She said, "I wish I could have Katherine's life and she could have mine. So that you would yell at her for waking up early instead of me."

How unfair. How unfair that Caroline may well remember lots of yelling in her childhood while Katherine will remember mostly laughing. All because Caroline's internal alarm clock is set to an earlier time than Katherine's. How unfair...

Sunday, May 4, 2008


The great philosopher- that would be my four and three quarter year old (if you try to say she is four and a half, she will quickly correct you!)- has spoken again. Yesterday as we were coming in from a walk, Caroline asked me, "Was it easier for you before you had kids?" Thank goodness, she was in the stroller so I had a minute to change my expression and wipe the tears from the corner of my eyes. How do explain this one- easier yes, would I go back, no. She is so persistent that try as I might, I couldn't fully explain it. I tried to talk about being able to run into a store really quickly without having to take little people out of car seats. She didn't look satisfied. I tried to talk about the sleep thing but she hears so many complaints about this one that it fell on deaf ears. "But was it easier?" she kept asking. Easier and harder. Easier in the little ways- harder in the big ways. I kept talking in circles, getting no where. For some reason, she dropped it- I think she started to feel bad for me but I can't drop it... perhaps this is really the thing we as parents, need to figure out- the thing we really need to wrap our arms around. This motherhood thing- it is both the easiest and the hardest thing I have ever done- maybe someday, I will be able to explain why.

Friday, May 2, 2008

New Jersey Moms Blog

I have a new post up on New Jersey Moms Blog- Check it out!

Thursday, May 1, 2008


So, Rob and I are living with a great philosopher. As Rob just said, "We can't hang with her." Seriously.... As I was putting Caroline down tonight, she asked me how I can love her when I'm mad at her. I did my best with the whole unconditional love discussion. I thought I was in the clear. I headed out the door. And then I was called back in for the tradtional one more thing- only this one more thing wasn't a sip of water or an extra trip to the bathroom. This one more thing was the following: "Can love break or bend?" I am hoping this is a phrase in a book we have read and I just can't remember it because if this is of her own doing, we are all in big, big trouble...


I have been blogging for nearly a year and a half and this week I am finally tackling the technological aspects of it. I have been blogging at a different location and just couldn't figure out all the extra pieces to it- I could write a post, sometimes link correctly, and that was about it. I kept hearing that Blogger was easier but just couldn't make the switch. This week I began taking an on-line class at MotherVerse called Publishing a Blog. The class is primarily being built around Blogger so I have taken this as a sign to move on... Starting today I am going to figure it all out! I am sick of saying that I am not good at all the technological stuff- it is time to figure it out! Wish me luck and keep reading!